I’m going to have an Oprah moment and show you the dazzling results of my recent pedicure and manicure. I didn’t know what to expect since I’d never had one done before. If anything was going through my head as I walked into the day spa, it was a deep-seated fear that the pedicure lady would take one look at my feet and be like, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve trolls.’

But my friend had given me a gift certificate to Rex Day Spa in Falls Church for my birthday (after we had a discussion about how dry and crackly my feet were!), so I was forced to confront my feet insecurities.


When I walked in, the lady told me to pick out a nail polish color out of the spindle. I spent a good deal of time fussing over this. If this was going to be my one opportunity to venture into a more inviting shade than raven black, it better be great! The lady waiting on me was like, ‘dude, it’s just nail polish.’ Check out the mindnumbing array of nail polish colors (above).

dsc04770The place was really quiet in there, people just minding their own beeswax. I did notice, with amusement, a rolypoly man with bulging eyes getting a manicure. He was sitting very still at one of the tables, his hands soaking in two sudsy bowls of warm water. I thought of Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas for some reason.

The pedicure was blissful. The lady scrubbed at my feet with a rough square sponge until my callouses were almost gone. Then she swathed and rinsed my feet with three types of stuff – first, an exfoliating teal blue sea salt, then this minty blue paste that looked like dentist toothpaste and began burning in a most lovely way about 10 seconds after it touched my skin, and then finally lotion.


The french manicure was pretty sweet too. I took the above pictures the next day while waiting idly in my car for my friend to meet me for lunch. I know… I could never be a hand model. They’d just as soon use a cadaver’s. People often look at a photo of me and go, ‘Oh my gosh look at your hands!’ because they resemble a translucent leggy spider curled up on my coat.

dsc04785Lucky me, my friend later put together this cute little hand/feet moisturizer kit. It included a vintage tin can of ‘udder butter,’ a lotion once used to sooth cows’ udders after they were milked raw… and now is soothing my feet!

Note the portrait of the cow:

The kit also had polka-dot moisturizing gloves and 3 pairs of footsies to wear overnight to help the udder butter absorb into my skin.

Written by devotchkaa



this post wins the award for being the most girly post i’ve ever read on here.

my feet are super ticklish. i could never do that. it’d be just like in the movies where as soon as they touch my foot, i knock ’em in the nose, and there’s blood everywhere.


hah yeah she actually took that rock sponge and scraped it along the bottom of my feet. It felt like someone dragging their thumbnail along the sole!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *